Effort and Habits

Wishes are childrenWriting every day is mostly a habit. It’s one of those things that gets ingrained in muscle memory and makes you twitchy if it doesn’t happen. Habits are rituals, and rituals lead to cycles, and cycles are really just patterns with a fancy title. Patterns can be crafted to be their own, but it ends up affecting a hellavua lot of stuff in the long rung

Lately I’ve been obsessed with the play¬†Into the Woods. It was something that I watched every year in language classes during finals week, but I never paid attention to it until the past few weeks. I remembered that there were witches and a bunch of fairy tale characters that got stuck with one another to get them out of their stories. Somewhere in the 500th repeat of the finale I realized that the play is just about shifting priorities through life. Wishes are those things we think about so often, yet it’s how we act that defines us as people.

For example, when I was a child I wished to be the mother of a little girl with all my heart. It was the only thing I wanted to be when I grew up. I ended up tacking on music teacher when prompted, but I never imagined being happily married or having a career, just that end game. Fast forward twenty years (!) and that’s what happened. I had forgotten that was the primary goal originally because new wishes came to the fore, like getting married and making a living at writing.

I’m living my one wish but it sidelined another wish I had in my adolescence – be an author. As the play¬†reminds us, wishes come true but they often don’t come free. I’ve come out of my shell through meeting my daughter’s friends and their parents, but hanging out doesn’t further my aspirations for writing. I’m getting farther away from that end and must work on getting back to where I need to be.

But, to my knowledge, no one has ever said that the expense of a wish is another one. Rituals, balance, and execution all roll into it. It will be achievable, even if it’s just working through it here.

Chronicling my journey, starting now.

Have you ever noticed

It’s really amazing how the little things end up affecting your process? I’ve come to discover that for some reason, and despite all of the efforts gone through to make me otherwise, I’m a morning person. Of all things, who would’ve thought! This is a shocker because I work in the internet industry, which seems to be geared toward night hours.

All throughout high school and college I would stay up until ridiculous hours. Hells, even after high school. But now if I’m not winding down by 9p I’m a goner for the rest of the week productivity and focus wise. And it’s not even that I *want* to stay up late anymore, it’s just a habit.

Part of it stems from an old habit of watching anime at night to de-stress. As I’ve gotten older I’ve been watching less anime and more american shows, the biggest difference being the length of the episode. A typical anime episode lasts about 22 minutes whereas something like an episode of Sleepy Hollow lasts 44 minutes. So watching 3 or 4 anime episodes in a clip is no bigs whereas 3 episodes of Sleepy Hollow *is*.